my latest adventure: cooking

This year, I made a simple New Year's Resolution: to spend less by cooking more. I've always enjoyed cooking, but wanted to make it much more of an "every day" thing than just once a week. Also, even though I've always loved cooking, it's still intimidating and a bit overwhelming.

Even though I've only been at this for a little over 2 weeks, I'm already learning so much about preparing meals on a daily basis. I'm sure that EVERY mom could tell you this information (and more), but here's what I've learned about the basics of how to start cooking regularly:

1. Take the time to plan. I suppose this is why I've avoided cooking more in the past. This may be excessive for non Type-A personalities, but I made 3 lists. The FIRST was a list of 20 recipes I wanted to try for the first time. I categorized them into 2 columns: "main dishes" and "sides".

The SECOND list was much more extensive. I put every ingredient (and the amounts) on a piece of paper under the dish I wanted to try and make. I didn't worry about having "repeats" (if 2 dishes called for butter, I wrote it down under each dish). 

Which leads me to my next two pieces of advice:

2. Don't bite off more than you can chew! The ingredients list made me realize that A. I wasn't sure if I had enough room for all that food, and B. I was going to have to spend a lot of money. So I limited myself, and chose 10 out of the 20 recipes I wanted to try. Choosing 10 out of the 20 took some analyzation--which recipes called for similar ingredients so I could minimize what I may end up throwing away?

In the same spirit, plan some "easy" meals that don't require much cooking at all. 

3. A well stocked pantry is worth the investment. I budgeted a little extra money on my first grocery trip so I could buy ingredients (mainly spices) I've never owned, but knew I'd enjoy learning how to use. It's really paid off. After only 2 weeks, I sit down and look at new recipes and get to experience the joy of saying, "I have all of that!" Plus, if I want to switch my plan at the last minute, I don't have to make numerous grocery runs.

...so, back to my third list. I categorized my ingredients list into what aisles they were in at the grocery store. I didn't want to risk discouragement by having to spend 2 hours in the grocery store, so I went prepared.

4. A slow-cooker is your best friend. Crock pot meals are so easy to prepare. I usually put everything I need in the crock pot the night before, so in the morning, all I have to do is plug it in and turn it on. If you aren't sure where to look for recipes, start with slow cooker meals.

In later posts, I'll share some recipes!

confessions of an over-thinker

I have a difficult time distinguishing the line between “thinking” and “overthinking”. I suppose it may be different for everyone, but I cross the line far too often. Most of the time, I wander into it rather blindly, not realizing that I’m overthinking until it has already consumed me.

What follows is never pretty, and can only be described as varying levels of anxiety (and emotion) that I battle until…well, I’m not exactly sure what really happens. Either I finally open my hands and say, “God, take this from me”; or He gets tired of watching me struggle day after day and comes to my rescue. If I wanted to over-spiritualize this struggle, I would tell you about all of the moments I freely “surrendered everything to God.” But the truth is, I think He rips a lot of things out of my clenched fists.

Many nights have been spent lying wide-awake in bed, wishing there was a switch to turn off my overthinking brain. But in the moments where our human solutions to spiritual problems are reduced to robotic coping mechanisms, God speaks to His creation about what it means to depend on Him.

Surrender looks more like a wrestling match than a baton passing, because we are people that are always trying to find security in our humanity. Therefore, the solution to not overthinking is not as simple as a switch in His kingdom. It’s a heart issue, because there are lies in my heart about what overthinking does for me.

On my worst days, I believe that overthinking will:

…make me sound smart. It will give me an identity and allow me to impress others.

…protect me from getting hurt. I can predict my emotions and avoid being too vulnerable.

…compensate for my fear of the unknown. If I can imagine every possible outcome to a conversation or situation, I will be prepared for anything.

…change a situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the past, if I replay a scene enough times in my head, I’ll eventually feel good about it.

…keep me from making a mistake. After all, doesn’t thinking lead to wisdom?

That last one is the most convicting, and not just because the Bible says “the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” While overthinking may occasionally give you a victory point in making the “right” decision, God does not value a life that is mistake-free. He values the humility that comes from listening to the Spirit.

Our minds are too noisy because our hearts are too selfish.

140-character expansion // priorities

I get a lot of inspiration for what to write about from my twitter account. I don’t know as though I ever intend for that to be my goal when I post a 140-character statement, but it ends up being the case more often than not. I suppose that’s because I use Twitter rather impulsively (or as impulsive as a non-impulsive person can), and most of my thoughts are fairly under-developed at the time of posting.

Yesterday, I posted the following tweet:

            “best question i’ve been asked over the past 6 months: what are your top 3 priorities and how does your time reflect them?”

…and I’d like to expand on this thought a little more than Twitter will allow me. In this case, I’m abandoning my article/essay format, and just sharing some bullet points that I’ve been thinking about when it comes to setting priorities for myself:

1. When setting priorities, don’t be afraid to:

-- categorize: for so long, I had trouble setting priorities because I was merging all my worlds together (professional, academic, relational, etc.). It’s important to ultimately acknowledge how these interact together, but also have an idea of what you are being called to work towards in each one.

--be specific: if you categorize, you’ll give yourself freedom to be more specific. Instead of having a priority list that looks something like this: God, Family, Friends, Work/School

You’ll be able to really focus on tangible and measurable goals. For example, instead of having “friends” be a stand-alone priority, why not choose 1 or 2 people that you’d really like to invest your time into? (And by the way, setting “relational” priorities has been the most important category for me over the past 6 months.)

--be realistic: technology likes to make us think that our capacity is greater than it actually is. While it does help at times, the truth of the matter is this: you are still human, and there are still only 24 hours in a day. Don’t choose quantity over quality.

2. Be careful who you listen to. People like to tell other people what their priorities should be. Make sure that you give yourself the freedom to make those decisions on your own, and not be controlled by everyone’s opinion about where you should be spending your time/energy. (Remember the golden rule of “doing unto others…” Once you have your priorities, share them when appropriate. Don’t broadcast them to make yourself look better, or use them to convince people that their list should look the same.)

3. Be willing to listen. In light of #2, I’d like to add that I’ve needed help setting my priorities. Choosing people I respect and look up to has helped me identify my strengths and strive for goals in the future. After setting your priorities on your own, ask a trusted friend/mentor for input, and be willing to hear what they have to say. This person can also help you maintain consistency on how your time is reflecting your priorities.

4. Setting priorities = freedom. When you have priorities, it’s much easier to make decisions on what to say yes or no to. That doesn’t mean that implementing priorities is always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth it. 

Some Things Can't be Measured by a Scale: Confidence

This is a balance scale. It's used (in case you can't remember from your grade school math and science classes) to measure the mass of certain objects. In fact, it was the first instrument ever invented to perform such a task, and still remains the most precise form of measuring objects because its results are not affected by the change in gravitational pull in different parts of the earth.

Despite its accuracy, no one uses balances anymore. We've moved on to electronic versions of this instrument...at least when it comes to measuring mass.

But how often does the inside of our mind reflect the imagery as that of a scale? The balance, as an instrument, may be rather obsolete. But the concept of living a "balanced" life is something that we are encouraged to do frequently. I often wonder what that means to people. Being balanced has its positives, when it comes to reconciling checkbooks and the like. But there are also times when pursuing balance can be a very dangerous thing, especially in relationships.

I share this with you because I want to examine how we think about our relationship with God, and how we find confidence in Him. Because sometimes, when I spend "alone" time with God, I act as though I'm putting weights on one side of the scale. If I spend 10 minutes reading my Bible or praying, that earns me 1 pound. An hour? 10 pounds. A whole day? 100 pounds. And as I'm stacking my weights on the "God-side" of the scale, I allow myself exposure to things that add weights to the "other side".

I've always defined confidence in the Lord as listening and believing what God says about you. I still think that's the definition...but why does confidence seem much more complicated than simply reading the Bible? Well, first of all, we have to listen AND believe...not just stare at words on a page hoping they'll transfer into our daily thoughts.

And second of all: we are surrounded by a lot of crap...crap that adds weights to the "other side" of the scale. We often buy into the lie that, as long as we have enough weight stacked on our "God-side", we can expose ourselves to the lies of our culture in moderation (meaning that as long as the "other side" always weighs less than the "God-side", we are doing just fine).

Satan tells us that the crap on the "other side" of the scale won't weigh that much...so we can listen to the music we want to, watch whatever TV show we want to, go to whatever movie we want to, waste whatever time we want to on facebook, all while (sometimes) using "discernment" to make sure there's not too much swearing or nudity in any of it to really make a difference. And while those things are worth taking into account, the "subtle" lies are often the more dangerous ones.

The other day, I started to count how many songs on pop-radio encourage people to think they are "perfect just the way they are". While this may be a romantic or empowering sentiment, it's completely unbiblical. While I haven't fully bought into this lie believing that I am perfect...I also tend to ignore the reality of my sinful nature and the sorrow that should accompany it. For me, thoughts like this do far more damage to my soul than hearing a swear word.

In fact, this is the very lie that gives our conscience permission to add weights to the "other side" of the scale without realizing what it's really doing to us. This is not to suggest that, for the rest of our lives, we should isolate ourselves from the world. But we have to stop living this "balanced" Christianity. Our relationship with God isn't about the weight of the "God-side" vs. the "other side". Our confidence doesn't come from having a mind and heart filled with 51% of truth.

Our scales should be reaching the tipping point. And in order for that to happen, we have to be aware of what lies are being communicated to us on a daily basis from the world, and take seriously their implications on how we think about ourselves. 

This pursuit of Godly confidence is worth it, not only for yourself, but for those you live among. There's a lot at risk when we live as though it's not, and biblical community is sacrificed when we don't properly understand where we get our confidence from. Suddenly, people's opinions weigh far too much than they should...causing us to react in defensiveness--or crumble in emotional despair--when relationships reach a point of honesty that allow us to see ourselves and each other as we truly are.

That's why (I believe) there's so much talk (and so little discovery) of true and transparent community, even within the church. People are hungry for it, they blame others for the reasons why they don't have it...but we're all walking around lacking the capacity for it to exist because of our deep-seeded, willful ignorance of our own insecurities and lack of confidence in the Lord.

This isn't to suggest that biblical community only happens in the absence of insecurity. But we must see our insecurity and worth in the correct light if we are to have any chance at showing grace, which is the "glue" of authentic community.

teachability

A week before I left for my very first site visit to Kenya, I got together with the 2 guys that would be traveling with me. Since they had been to Africa before, I wanted to get information on what I should pack and any other last minute details, so we met over lunch at a Japanese Steakhouse. I had worked with Ben over the past year, so I knew him fairly well; and I had been introduced to Blake before, but we never really had the chance to talk until then.

That's why I was caught off guard when, as we sat around a hibachi grill that day, he said to me:

"Just don't act like you know everything on this trip. Don't pretend like you already knew something when you didn't. And even if somebody's telling you something you already know, just listen."

I'm pretty sure I reacted compliantly, but inside I was thinking... 

"Why is this guy saying this to me? I'm not arrogant. I'm capable of learning things...and I'll show him that he didn't need to say that to me. After all, I'm a natural learner...all of my strengths tests tell me that. I like to learn things, he just doesn't know that. He probably just says that to everyone."

This conversation happened three years ago. And this is what I've learned since it happened:

1) I am arrogant.

2) I like the IDEA of learning more than embracing the actual process.

3) I am really good at pretending to know something. 

4) I am really bad at letting people teach me things and acknowledging that they are, in fact, teaching me something.

After I got to know Blake better, I asked him if he had seen something in me that caused him to say that. I was hoping that he would say, "No, I just say that to everyone before trips." But he didn't. Apparently my lack of teach-ability is easy to discern when you first meet me.

Since this time, God has asked me, on numerous occasions, if I would let Him be the all-knowing one in our relationship. He's asked me to be silent. He's asked if I would allow Him to soften my heart. I'd like to say that I've said "yes" to every one of those requests...but sometimes it takes a wrestling match before I do.

I share this story with you because I believe that being teachable is important. Having an attitude of humility is one of the most attractive things a person can possess, with God and with others. This isn't to be mistaken with being easily influenced by the world and the opinions of men, as God's Word sheds light on the difference between truth and lies.