"i will give you rest"

Tired.

It's the number one word I use to describe my state of being on a weekly basis. I think many others do to. And we all wish that it was different...we all hope to wake up the first time our alarm clock goes off without hitting snooze with abundant energy. But that rarely is the case. I've lived many of the days of my life physically, mentally, and/or emotionally tired.

At the end of this day, I find myself yet again with very little left to give. But this time, there's a beauty in the emptiness. As I reflect on the events that have filled the past 12 hours, I recognize that my need for rest is not caused by my own efforts to cling to that which I want to control. My weakness does not come from carrying my own burdens, for my work would then be in vain.

Rather, it comes from a constant pouring out and surrender of those very things. It is a testimony to my humanity, and the realization that God is asking me to let go of that which I value most, so that it may be for His glory instead of my own.

After surrender is rest. 1 John 3:16-20:

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

I want to end my days know that I have lived out the love that requires me to lay my life down for others. It will take everything in me to do so, but when I arrive in His presence ready to be filled again, the reward will be great. I have a God who knows my heart.

these are a few of my favorite things: baseball players

Today marks the first day of MLB playoffs...which could very well be my favorite time of year, especially when the Cardinals are playing. Since living in Kentucky, this time of year evokes a slight homesickness in me, only because baseball is not appreciated as much here...everyone's already moved on to college football.

This year, almost all of my favorite major league players made the playoffs. Now, while I LOVE the Cardinals and usually anyone who plays for them (there are a few exceptions), this list would be boring if it was made up of players from one team. But these are my top three players to watch:

Magglio Ordonez--I was cheering for the Tigers to make the playoffs this year because of him. I first started watching Magglio when he played for the White Sox (one of my favorite AL teams, though I consider the NL to be a much superior league--not because of talent or record, but because of the DH). Plus, he just has a cool name.

Todd Helton--my dad and I would often compete in fantasy baseball together when I lived at home. Todd Helton was my prized possession for the required "rookie pick" on our team (my dad picked Mark Kotsay--also a good player, but he didn't earn as many points as Helton). And Helton's only gotten better since then.

Albert Pujols--of course, I couldn't NOT put him on the list. There is no better current baseball player than him (I'm not bias...you can ask anyone this question, and his name will be mentioned). But beyond baseball, this quote from his website sums up why I love him so much: "If you asked me about the pinnacle of 2006, you would probably be surprised to learn that winning the World Series or winning my first Gold Glove at first base was not the highlight moment of the season for me. My personal favorite moment during that season was seeing two of my friends and teammates come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. That was the peak of my year!"

these are a few of my favorite things: quotes

Enough with the food...here's some inspiration for the day:

"But how much happier you would be if you only knew that these people cared nothing about you!  How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure; if you could see them walking as they are in their sunny selfishness and their virile indifference!  You would begin to be interested in them, because they were not interested in you.  You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers."

G.K. Chesterton

"Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted and ardent. If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are. If you are blamed you will not be discouraged. If they call you a saint you will not put yourself on a pedestal."

Mother Teresa

these are a few of my favorite things: food that you can't find anywhere

Over the next few entries, I'm highlighting some of the things I enjoy in life. Feel free to share your own favorite stuff in the comments! This first entry is dedicated to "food that you can't find anywhere"--you know, the food you love to eat but can only find in a few select stores.

The first, Watermelon Sour Patches. Now, you can buy Sour Patch Kids almost anywhere, but they just aren't the same as these. Target is the only place I can find that sells this candy regularly...except the movie theater (which I rarely visit...and when I do, I don't buy food--paying $4 for a small box is not worth it no matter how good it is!).

Since I don't like chocolate, people often ask me if there's anything that compares to the love others have for chocolate. My answer: peanut butter. But I have found NO peanut butter that compares to Skippy Reduced Fat Creamy Peanut Butter. I love this stuff so much, I've actually ordered it in bulk off the internet (laugh all you want, but I'll keep doing it!). I go through about a jar a month.

there's a first time for everything

This has been the summer of "firsts"...first time leading a mission trip from start-to-finish, first time editing a book...and while the lessons learned in the light of leadership are not always fun, the are rewarding and refining in the end.

But enough about the new experiences that carry with them greater responsibilities, resulting in both good and bad emotions in the moment. This entry is solely dedicated to those "firsts" that are only attached to pure enjoyment. 

Perhaps I should share with you a picture to get you started:

This is Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point. While it may not look like much from this picture, you should know that this ride takes you from 0-120 mph in 3.8 seconds. Not only that, but you go completely vertical 420 ft. in the air, and then come back down again.

And Trent and I rode it. Twice.

To help you understand how crazy this is, you should know that up until our trip to Cedar Point, I had really only been on 3 (maybe!) "real" roller coasters. Sure, I had been on countless Disney rides and other mini-coasters that usually had a mining cave theme to them...but those no longer count. 

So Thursday was a day full of firsts...first time going upside-down on a roller coaster, first time riding more than 2 roller coasters in a day, first time traveling 120 mph on the ground (I'm not counting plane rides), first time on a standing roller coaster...the list goes on and on. 

Now, there were a couple of non-firsts to mention that were quite enjoyable as well. It was my second time eating an elephant ear (both times have been with Trent though...quite a romantic food, I suppose?). My second time visiting Clay (Trent's best friend) in his hometown outside of Akron, OH. And it was Trent and I's 579,026 road trip together. OK, maybe not that many...let's see, Illinois, Indiana, Cincinnati, Illinois, Cincinnati, Pennsylvania...we're averaging about 1 per every month we've been together!

And there's no one I would have rather experienced all of these firsts with than him (haha...yes I'm being super girly...and there's more to follow). But there's something about being with him that just makes me more brave to try things I would normally be scared to death of. He's comforting and encouraging and unselfish (I have to stop there because if I start listing all of his good qualities, I will have reached a new level of mushiness on this blog that I don't think I am comfortable with), and I feel safe when I'm with him because of it. 

I leave you with one final thought: Millennium Force is the best roller coaster ever.